How it works:
An initial consultation (on skype or in person near my home in North London) – we’ll meet for one hour and talk through what I offer, what you need and decide whether I’m the right person to help you. I charge £20 for this first session. Contact me to set this up. After that, we can decide how we want to work and how regularly to meet. I can provide you with more costing details on request.
Depending where you’re based, we can either meet in person in London or arrange a Skype consultation. After the initial consultation, we’ll decide what your priorities are – after that we might just meet in a safe setting and I’ll provide feedback on whatever issue you want to work on at the moment, whether that’s how you come across to an outside observer, or whether that’s developing some styling tips. Sessions last from an hour to two, although I am also happy to accompany you on a shopping trip or to a hair or beauty salon for support and advice on style and fashion choices.
What we might discuss or decide to work on:
- Helping you to choose a name, figuring out how to tell friends and family and what you want the next steps in your transition to be.
- Assisting with choices of clothes, style, make up and hair care to help you achieve a more feminine look.
- We can work together on how you present yourself physically to help you develop a feminine presence. What I mean by this is that there are distinct differences in the way that men and women move – men have a different way of walking for example. Men and women also behave differently in social settings, and finally, talk in a different way to each other. That’s not just about vocal pitch, but also what words you use, how you phrase things, how you use your hands when you talk… I can provide honest feedback on how you’re coming across, and give you specific ideas to work on and improve.
After the initial consultation, I charge £25 an hour.
Why should you pay for this?
Why would you ask a stranger for advice and help with this difficult stuff? Well, I’ve supported friends and family through the process of transition before so have some understanding of how difficult it is. More crucially, I know quite well what works and what doesn’t work for trans women who want to pass, both in terms of behaviour and appearance.
I’m also an objective observer. You can trust me to be honest with you, and perhaps sometimes in a blunter way than your friends and family might be. I will tell you what is and isn’t working, compassionately, in a way that friends and family (who might be afraid of upsetting you) might not feel able to do. Importantly I also have the tools to help you work on those issues to better achieve your goals in transition. You may also have questions and concerns that you just don’t feel comfortable raising with friends or family and I can help with those issues too.
What I can’t do
I’m not a medical or psychiatric professional, so I can’t provide you with medical related care, or psychotherapy. I can be a listening, supportive ear, and help you while you access the support of relevant services, whether that’s your GP for a medical referral, or whether that’s a trained counsellor or psychotherapist for more in-depth support with your mental health.
What I will always do is provide you with non-judgemental empathy and support while you decide your next steps.